Emile Heskey missed the Aston Villa v Chelsea match because of a twinge in his back. Luke Young has a hamstring injury. Richard Dunne went limping off after fifteen minutes. But this...this beats all:

[When asked about injuries, Gerard Houllier said] then this morning Marc Albrighton had to say that he couldn't play because he didn't sleep all night.

Come again? I imagine Albrighton cuddled up in bed, clutching his blanky, illuminated only by a glow from his nightlight. He's rocking back and forth and mumbling, "Not Ashley Cole. Not Ashley Cole. Not the best left back in the world. Please God, don't make me go up against Ashley Cole."

Excuse me while I go clean up the coffee I just snorted all over my "Viva La Revolution" tee shirt.