Aston Villa News Review: Dead Legs, Curtis Davies And A Toothbrush

Be warned: much sarcasm exists below. Except about the duckies. I want those.

Emile Heskey Had A Dead Leg: %#)O*! What on earth is with Villans and the dead legs? I don't recall players last year being sidelined with this malady. Fortunately, Heskey shook off the cramp, but it was his back keeping him out of the weekend's game. Read the article for the least flattering photo of Emile ever.

Stephen Ireland Thinks Aston Villa Will Improve: Well yes, what is he supposed to say. C'mon, now. In other news, Kirsten thinks that the scum are paying all newspapers to run unflattering photos of the Villa.

Curtis Davies Should Be Better At Football: I'm just not very sympathetic to Davies and his whinings about Martin O'Neill. Yes, it seems O'Neill shut out quite a few players. But get out there and prove yourself, Davies, rather than make mistakes at Villa and then complain about your lack of chances.

Apologies For Not Doing A Round Up: Instead, read Chris Nee's recap of the weekend's Premier League matches. Snark is always appreciated (unless he is mocking my coffee habit).

My Life Is Not Worth Living: For I do not have an Aston Villa toothbrush. Nor, come to think of it, a set of AVFC bath duckies.