Gérard has had one too many of our drinks.
We often talk around here about how our boys in claret and blue drive us to drink. (I wrote that sentence with "joke" in the place of "talk" the first time. Then I took a look at Aaron and Kirsten's twitter feeds and decided to change it.) Generally, the weapon of choice is whatever happens to be nearest: whiskey, beer, whatever.
But I think it's time we come up with a few drinks that are tailored to Aston Villa. After all, why shouldn't one addiction enable another? So it was with this mission in mind that I thought up this week's prompt for Friday Feedback.
Create an Aston Villa themed alcoholic drink. What is it called and what is in it? Bonus points if it has a chance of being tasty.
As a means of showing the crew what I was thinking, I offered this as an example. You'll find my real answer below.
The Gary McAllister: Find your ugliest glass and pour in a few shots of scotch. Do absolutely nothing to it afterwards, as it would be folly to mix things up. Consider drinking it in the evening when it could be effective in drowning your sorrows, but decide to hold out until the next morning when its usefulness has past.
So go ahead and see what we've come up with, and be sure to add yours in the comments. Together we can get sauced in a more classy, Villa-centric manner!
Aaron: Start with six ounces of Goose Island Bourbon County Stout, poured into a Mai Tai glass over crushed ice. Add 2 ounces of sweet tea vodka, two ounces of Bacardi 151, 2 ounces of Laphroaig, 1 ounce of Blue Curacao and 4 ounces of Chianti.
It's a bunch of things that are wonderful on their own merits but completely horrendous when combined, but when it's over you're going to be really, really drunk. I call it the 'Watching Aston Villa'.
Gareth: I've literally got nothing. Not creative enough, I'm afraid. I'm trying to think of a drink that's really good by itself but then when you mix it with booze it's a little bit disappointing. Could call it the Youth Teamer.
Kirsten: The Ashley Young Set Piece: combine Absolut Raspberry and Curacao in equal measures inside a shot glass. Hand the shot glass to a blind man with Parkinson's disease and ask him to tip it into your mouth. End up apologizing to the man three tables away when he's doused with a spray of claret and blue.
Robert: The Emile: first off, this must be served in a tall glass. Fill with ice to the brim. Then add some excellent rum with cola, but make sure both are at room temperature. Let it sit for a few minutes. You'll find that you have a tasty drink which shows a flash of brilliance, but due to the melting ice and the fact that it gets watered down, you'll finish it about as often as Emile can finish a shot on goal.
As a bonus, I offer this concoction:
The James Miner: Make your finest gin and tonic. Go ahead, use the good stuff. Maybe some of that gourmet tonic from Whole Foods that's custom made in small batches. Give it a taste. It's great isn't it? Could use it as a cocktail, or with your meal. It's really quite versatile. Now, do the same thing at 10 AM. G&Ts just don't work right with brunch. So now you've got a phenomenal drink that works most everywhere but here, and it's still a bit bitter. Voila!