A quick glance through the week's action. How are the top leagues throughout the world shaking out?
Sorry for the absence last week, guys. I figure no one really cares that much about international football, plus, the groups really aren't that close to being determined. To cover every region for World Cup qualification would have made my head spin.
So now on to what was a hellish week in football. For me, anyway. Anything lift your spirits? Add a comment and make my week better!
Chelsea looked as though they might finally lose when Tottenham Hotspur took the lead, 2-1, but Spurs didn't count on Juan Mata scoring two goals in two minutes. In the end, the Blues won 4-2 to maintain their unbeaten start to the season.
Manchester City also remain undefeated, after Eden Dzeko came back to rescue them against West Brom. But their three draws put them level with Manchester United, who also came from behind to win. Both sides remain four points behind Chelsea, and three above Everton, who drew against Queens Park Rangers.
If you want to keep your sanity, don't look any lower on the table.
I was in the middle of a yawn when I checked Spain's table, and nearly bit off my tongue. Holy crap! Atlético Madrid are even with Barcelona at the top. And only two behind on goal difference. Real Madrid, meanwhile, are a full eight points behind the leaders.
Is La Liga finally getting interesting? Don't get your hopes up too high. Atlético will sell Radamel Falcao for a billion euros come January, and Barcelona will run away with the title.
Alright, this Bayern Munich thing is getting old. I understand they're still insecure about the whole losing the Champions League thing, but come on, it's time to let everyone else have a chance. Winning 5-0 over freshly promoted Fortuna is just cruel.
Oh, and Dortmund lost 2-1 to Schalke in the Revierderby, putting them five points behind their rivals and a full 12 behind Bayern. Frankfurt, who beat Hannover 3-1, are in second.
grumble grumble mope throw things grumble.
I keep saying I'm going to pay attention to French football so I'll know what to put here. And then it keeps slipping my mind.
Paris Saint-Germain have bribed their way back to the joint-top, alongside Marseille, although it took a narrow 1-0 win over Reims, who missed a penalty. Also, apparently the Parisians are scared of reports that Croats are set to make trouble at their Europa League clash with Dinamo Zagreb, and PSG have urged their supporters not to travel. Perhaps this is just an excellent ploy by the Croatia tourism board to keep away the French?
I hope someone at Aston Villa is keeping an eye on Wilfried Bony, forward at Vitesse. The 23-year-old Ivorian already has 10 goals in 9 matches. Is it possible to get a refund on Christian Benteke and get this guy instead?
His side beat Breda 3-0 (he scored a brace) this weekend to move into second place, alongside PSV, who beat Willem II. How many football clubs are named after royalty, you think? Anyway, both sides are just a point behind Twente, who only picked up a point against Roda.
A group of Dynamo Moscow fans showed up at training and took aim at the players...with paintball guns. I'm not going to deny that I'm a bit inspired by this, although I'd take care not to actually hit the players in the head. Just shake 'em up a little, ya know? Anyway, the supporters were upset about the team's standing. They're in 12th, of 16. Yeah, join the rest of us. We've got a fully stocked liquor cabinet and lots of chocolate.
San Jose Earthquakes clinched the Supporters Shield -- that's the title in most leagues -- when Sporting Kansas City and New York Red Bulls drew 0-0. By the time you read this, the final playoff spot may have been decided, although at the time of writing it's still Vancouver Whitecaps and FC Dallas challenging for the last spot in the Western Conference.