If Alex McLeish were bitten by a vampire, I might be excited about Villa.
This weekend I missed the match against Manchester United because I had to take my girlfriend to the airport. When I emailed all of the other writers, I wrote that I was sorry to miss it and Aaron replied "'Sorry' to 'miss' it." Now, he wasn't being mean at all, he was just pointing out the unintended-but-actually-probably-true sarcasm in my statement. In reality, I was sorry to miss the interaction with the other writers and you readers. I was absolutely not sorry to miss the act of watching Aston Villa play football, let alone against Manchester United.
And tonight, as I sat here trying to think of something to write, I realized that there was nothing about which I cared with regards to Aston Villa. This team has nothing really left to excite me. Sure the youngsters are playing, but they're playing for almost nothing now and doing so in Alex McLeish's system. I'm tired of the football season, and I wish this one would just be over. But it's not over; we've still got five matches to watch! So what would it take to make me -- or to make any of us -- excited about watching any of those five matches? I'm genuinely curious. Below I've cobbled together a few ideas. You'll notice they are all very unlikely. This reflects the fact that there is probably nothing that will excite me about the remaining five matches.
Aston Villa end season on five-match winning streak. This would give the team 50 points on the season, likely good for eighth or ninth place, though possibly even lower than that. It's awfully sad that a five-match streak would only do that much. But can you imagine if this injured, youth-oriented team could do that? We'd all be going nuts. There'd certainly be more clamor to get rid of McLeish, if only to see what talented youth could do under good management.
- Alex McLeish is sacked. This is never going to happen, but if it did it would suddenly send fans into a frenzy. Who would the new manager -- almost certainly appointed in the summer -- be? How would the team react to having the terrible-match shackles removed from them? What would the media reaction be? In reality, firing McLeish now could be terribly misguided, but it would certainly be fun to watch.
Villa lose four, spend final day fighting for Premier League life. Now, this wouldn't be GOOD excitement, but I'd be excited. And nervous as hell. And angry. Come to think of it, this would likely be bad for my health. Let's move on.
- Stephen Warnock retires, is replaced by Villa fan chosen at random. Yeah, I'm running out of ideas.
- Villa play beautiful attacking football for remainder of the season. I'm sorry, now I'm just being silly.
I really can't think of much that would do it. How about you? What can Villa do to make you excited about the last five matches?