Paul Lambert wants to know if the asteroid can play midfield. - Jan Kruger
Birmingham City are playing Leeds in the FA Cup this weekend. Either team winning sounds gross. So, Up the Asteroid! Or, Down the Asteroid? Or something, I don't know.
This weekend sees the third round of the FA Cup take place. The third round is when the Premier League teams enter the competition. Our own Aston Villa will host Ipswich Town. But elsewhere on Saturday, north of Villa Park, Leeds United hosts Birmingham City. Of course any Villa fan doesn't want Birmingham to win, but the prospect of Leeds winning doesn't sound any more appealing. So as the joke goes, I'd rather see an asteroid win. So here are some songs/chants to sing while waiting for an asteroid.
NOTE: These are all in jest, I don't actually want an asteroid to hit Elland Road or anywhere. If anyone reading takes these as anything other than jokes, you're dumb.
I hope it lands at Elland Road
Chim Chim Cheroo,
Who needs Marlon King when we've got a small celestial body that revolves around the sun, with orbits lying chiefly between Mars and Jupiter and characteristic diameters between a few and several hundred kilometers.
Giant, Giant, Giant, Giant, Giant Asteroid,
It can crush much stuff,
It can crush much stuff...
My old man said 'be a comet fan',
And I said' b***ocks you're a c**t (you're a c**t),
We hate the comets and we're gonna show it,
We hate the comets and we f**king know it,
With Centaurs and Neptune Trojans and trans-Neptunian objects
They're the celestial bodies who gonna do us fine,
If you support the comet you're a icy small Solar System body-nosed b**tard and you ain't no friend of mine.
Thanks to the asteroid and comet Wikipedia pages for information, and you reader, if you somehow made it all the way through this.